Damn Idiots

Dear dullard that I help out of the kindness of my heart and mutual acquaintance with a competent friend,

DON'T TAKE ME FOR GRANTED LIKE SOME FREE ONLINE CALCULUS CALCULATOR AVAILABLE 24 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK! I ALREADY WASTED ALL AFTERNOON ON YOU, POUNDING IDEAS SHOWN STEP-BY-STEP WITHIN THE TEXTBOOK INTO THAT FATTY SAC OF JUMBLED PROTEINS THAT PASSES FOR YOUR BRAIN.

Sincerely,
Echiral.
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I don't even know why I help others, knowing full well that I have better things to do like getting un-stuck on algebra and spending time with stats (not to mention writing test code for CS assignment). ARGH. Altruism is most definitely not working as a self-preservation mechanism here. Saying that they are not worth getting angry over isn't helping the simmering resentment right now. And yes, I am behaving arrogantly, mainly because being nice will be fatal to what is left of my time - there'll be even more idiots around then...

Why is it that all the truly brilliant people (I call them "first-echelon", for reasons that may be apparent now, and certainly will be as my sentiments become more obvious in this blog) get to associate with other intelligent peers, while little second-echelon me gets stuck with the dim bulbs of humanity? Equals and betters hold me in their contempt. Stupid people attach themselves to me like parasites, leeches that suck my time and knowledge dry. The worst thing is the truth that the simple act of being with mindless idiots induces stupidity, too. The last thing I need.

People, go away. All of you. When I was naive and foolish enough to want friends, not a soul was willing to accept me...hovering silently on the sidelines, yep, just another nobody. Now that I know enough to be useful, why don't you leave me alone for a change?

Angry...resentful...hating...sometimes I just want to leave. Nobody will miss me, anyway - the brighter minds don't care either way, and parasites always can look out for themselves. Family? Friends? Surely you jest. If any had existed, they are literally (at least) a thousand miles away, now.

But...there is math. There is chemistry. There is music. There is so much to learn still, not all of which are derived from books. Longing...

The only beings that welcomed me were the bitter gales and the blinding snow outside. It was pleasant to be cold...maybe my spirit can be as cold as the chill wind, leaving me uncaring about such trivia.

Dolce. Dolore. Gently.

Brightest part of the day: for a nice change, I get a piano part in the orchestra! Yay for chamber music!

The Hebrides (Fingal's Cave) (by Mendelssohn) calls...

Will ditch physics soon so I can practice piano (if it is available...), something that helps alleviate my current turmoil. [Later: piano not available. Thus the toxic fire remains stoked.]