Two Stories

Today is my last day of work - I am officially out of a job right now. What better way to spend the remainder of my afternoon than to tell two recent stories from the lab?

Story 1. April 13, 2008. Mid-afternoon.

My project report basically consists of validating a method in the literature that the company is thinking of using. So, before I leave the company, (one of) my supervisor(s) wants me to show her how to actually perform the procedure.

Well. It's an easy procedure. I mean, it's not that hard to use a spectrophotometer after the method has been all set up - just insert the cuvette in the proper slot, close the lid, and push a button.

Of course, first one must fill the cuvette with sample. Usually with a Pasteur pipette. Anybody can do that. But then again...

When I was prepping for the demonstration, guess what? I killed another quartz cuvette. This one also underwent assisted suicide down one meter onto the floor. As it happens, that was the last surviving quartz cuvette in the lab. And it's not like you can just run out to the university chemistry store and buy another one. So my supervisor ended up having to order new ones - they'll take at least a few weeks to get to the worksite. Price tag: $494.90 for a pack of two. Cha-ching! Supervisor: oh well, it's not my money.

So, I ended up doing my demonstration using glass cuvettes. Glass cuvettes, as they absorb in the UV, will guarantee fascinatingly odd spectra in the UV range. They worked fine for practicing, though.

Mid-demonstration, there was a sudden BOOM! The walls shook. Nothing fell from the ceiling (fortunately). That was a blast! (Yes, the company blows up stuff on a regular basis.)

Me: aww, [being in a lab in no windows,] we can't see the "mushroom cloud" from the blast.
Supervisor: maybe not. Let's go.

So we ran to my supervisor's office, where there's a window. Sadly, no cloud is to be seen. Slightly dejected, we returned to the lab and I continued my demonstration.

Anyway, I was filling the cuvette with sample, explaining some of the reasons behind the procedure as I go. Then: clink. One Pasteur pipette down. Bits of glass all over the floor, and on my supervisor. I think I even got glass bits in her hair. Oops. Well, that's what safety glasses are for, right?

Thankfully, my supervisor is a nice sort, and she was lighthearted about it. Then: clink. There goes another Pasteur pipette. *Pause*

At the end of my demonstration, I tried to find all the glass bits, to no avail. Supervisor: don't worry about it, you'll find the glass bits when you step on them.

Um, ok.

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Story 2. April 15, 2008. Morning.

Every morning, one of my coworkers bring me environmental water samples for pH testing (among other things). Normally, the samples are somewhat basic so that the heavy-metal concentration in the sample stays relatively low. It being my last day, naturally my coworker has to (in another coworker's words) "fuck me over" by bringing a sample that's been spiked with hydrochloric acid.

Well, I know it's 7 a.m. and a little too early to be thinking coherently, but I am not that blind: it is obvious that something is wrong, because the sample bottle lacks a proper label. Being suspicious, I tested a second bottle of the same sample first: it gives a normal(ish) pH. Just in case the small bottle is an ad-hoc sample that nobody's bothered to label (this happens more often than it should), I tested the suspected sample, as well. pH = 2.78. Yep, definitely not a typical water sample.

Upon being told that my coworker is playing a prank on me, I starting thinking (it's my last day, after all). Hmm. I need something that's already in the lab (not the storage room), fairly safe, but unusual. Mercury salts can be colourful, but they are toxic...nah. Potassium permanaganate is nice, but even the tiniest spill of that makes a highly visible purple mess which I'll have to clean up. Potassium dichromate...I don't like anyone dumping chromium (VI) down the drain.

*Looks at the desiccator*.

Hmm. *Adds some sodium thiosulfate to the adulterated sample, a squirt of concentrated hydrochloric acid for good measure, then puts it back in the sample's usual spot*. I wonder what my coworker will think of it when he sees (and smells) all that sulfur when he opens the sample bottle tomorrow morning.